Attachment Theory: A Divine Design Beyond Evolution
Attachment theory is often explored as a central pillar of human development and psychology, primarily through the lens of evolutionary biology. Anne Power’s TED talk captures the essence of attachment theory from this perspective, framing attachment as a survival mechanism shaped by human evolution. Yet, there is another lens through which to view attachment—one that recognizes it as a divine design, an intentional and sacred part of our humanity, not merely a byproduct of evolution.
This article presents an alternative thesis: attachment is not an evolutionary adaptation but a profound and intentional gift, woven into the very fabric of who we are. Misinterpreting or undervaluing this divine design could distort our approach to relationships, potentially causing harm. As I discuss in my book, Unshakeable: Cultivating Resilience in Challenging Times, true resilience and healing arise from recognizing and honoring the sacred nature of our connections. Through this understanding, we can begin to practice what I call “Kintsugi for the Soul”—a healing journey that embraces our brokenness with courage, even when safety feels uncertain.
Attachment Beyond Evolution
Attachment, in my view, transcends evolutionary biology. It is a divine endowment that allows us to connect, care, and belong. From infancy through adulthood, our need for connection reflects an intrinsic, sacred aspect of being human. Across all cultures, attachment serves as a core foundation, impacting our emotional well-being, sense of self, and resilience. Rather than merely a survival mechanism, it appears as if attachment was divinely designed to foster love, empathy, and community.
By understanding attachment as more than biology, we invite a richer perspective on our relationships. If attachment is sacred, it becomes something to nurture carefully rather than something we merely adapt to for survival. This shift allows us to see the threads of divine intention in each bond we form, reminding us that every relationship has the potential to reveal, heal, and transform.
The Risks of Reducing Attachment to Evolution
Viewing attachment purely as an evolutionary construct risks stripping it of its depth and meaning. When attachment is reduced to survival, we may be more prone to approach relationships mechanically, looking at them as functions of need rather than sacred connections. In an age where quick fixes and transactional relationships are normalized, we could unintentionally harm the very design of attachment by failing to honor its deeper purpose.
Just as a Kintsugi craftsman treats each broken piece with careful attention, we, too, should approach our attachments with a sense of reverence. Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, reflects an attitude of honoring rather than discarding the fractured. Through this lens, attachment bonds, too, can be seen as beautiful even in their brokenness, an opportunity to enrich relationships rather than abandon or mechanize them.
Courage as the Path to Vulnerability and Healing
The sacred nature of attachment invites us into a paradoxical space: healing and vulnerability are only possible when we courageously step forward, even when safety is not guaranteed. In Unshakeable, I discuss how courage in relationships is essential to cultivating resilience. While attachment provides us with a foundation, it is courage that allows us to deepen our connections, especially when uncertainty or brokenness enters.
Anne Power emphasizes the importance of safety in attachment, and while safety is essential, it is not always present or assured in every moment. Divine attachment is not only about comfort and protection but also about growing through discomfort. True connection requires the willingness to risk vulnerability, to lean into broken places, and to trust that healing can happen even without complete assurance. Like the Kintsugi process, where broken pottery is pieced together in ways that reveal cracks filled with gold, our relationships can become stronger, more resilient, and more beautiful when we bring courage to vulnerability.
Complementing and Challenging Anne Power’s Perspective
Anne Power’s talk thoughtfully outlines attachment theory within the framework of psychological science, and there is great value in this perspective. My view is not to discard her arguments but to build upon them. If we only see attachment through an evolutionary lens, we risk missing its potential as a divine gift. By integrating this understanding of attachment as sacred, we complement Power’s perspective with a vision of attachment that is expansive, meaningful, and rooted in a spiritual purpose.
Our differing views, therefore, invite a fuller understanding of attachment—one that honors science and also recognizes a deeper layer of purpose. By approaching attachment as a divine design, we encourage a more nuanced approach that not only fosters resilience but enriches our experience of human connection in a transformative way.
Conclusion: Embracing Attachment as Sacred
The journey of embracing attachment as sacred requires a shift in perspective. When we see attachment not as a survival strategy but as an invitation to commune with one another, we open ourselves to the possibility of greater healing and resilience. This perspective reminds us that attachment isn’t merely a psychological construct; it is a pathway toward what I call “innocent freedom”—the freedom to connect authentically and deeply, with courage as our guide.
In viewing attachment as a divine design, we recognize that vulnerability is not a weakness but a courageous step toward connection and healing. Like a piece of Kintsugi pottery, our relationships are often marked by fractures and golden repairs. With courage, we honor the sacredness of attachment, and through vulnerability, we find ourselves healed and whole, embodying resilience that is both divine and unshakeable.
